Aftermath (A Post Not Suitable For Family Viewing)

Some more thoughts from here in the bowels of sports hell:
*Well, it's been a rough week. Who knows what lurks for the Yankees next season. I can't even imagine Alex Rodriguez in a Yankee uniform again. The guy came up empty when it counted, as did most of the team. But you can't be the highest paid prostitute player in baseball, be up 3-0 in a League Championship and lose the last two games at home. No. You have to go at least 7 for 8 in those last two games. Far as the whole team, heads need to roll here. Please understand: they were up 3-0...and blew it. They gagged on the bone like Traci Lords in her first movie.

Personally, I think the Yankees should take this for what it is. They are now the AL version of the 2000 Atlanta Braves. Pare down some of this payroll a bit and clean house. Let's get some young arms and bats in here. I'd like to see Torre put out to pasture. Yeah, I know. I'm an ingrate. Well, guess what. We haven't won the title in 4 years now. How about some fresh blood? Willie Randolph, maybe? Or can a black man not coach the Yankees?

*Right now, Steinbrenner is bare naked on the floor of his bathroom crushing broken glass with his bare hands. Can't say I blame him.

*As for that Curse. I'll declare it over if the Red Sox win the Series. If.

*At least I don't have to listen to McCarver and Buck on Fox anymore. Could they have found two LESS appealing characters to do play by play? I would have rather had Himmler and Goebels announcing the game than those two douchechills.

*Is it inappropriate for me to pray that Curt Schilling is caught with kiddie porn? Oh, I'm just kidding. Hopefully his foot will grow gangrenous instead. And what's this shit about him calling out A-Rod for that pansy swipe he took at Arroyo's glove in Game 6? Yeah, it was about as macho as a RuPaul appearance on the Rosie O'Donnell Show, but....isn't his Catcher, Jason Varitek, the same guy who kept his mask ON when he started that fight with A-Rod (by the way, THAT'S the play that won Game 7 last night)? That was the most p**sy move I've seen since the Alpha Betas burned down the Lambda house in "Revenge Of The Nerds."

*HOW THE F*** did Torre get outcoached by Terry Francona, a guy who makes Paul Schaffer look straight?

*Do I still have time to run out and buy a Cardinals hat?

*Wouldn't it be great if Johnny Damon made a leaping catch, but his hair got caught on a fan's zipper or some other ludicrous object?

*The only thing more unbelievable than the fact that Red Sox fans COULD be any more obnoxious, is that now, they WILL be more obnoxious.

*I must confess. If the Sox lose the Series, once the final out is recorded, I will take a dump on my front lawn out of sheer joy.

*FYI: First game of next season's Yankee schedule has been announced. Take one guess who we're playing.

*There's nothing else I can say. Oh, yeah there is. Massachusetts - the state that gave us the Kennedys, John Kerry and the Boston Red Sox...