Random Scribblings

Basketball, Peter Cetera and Death. Where else but at this blog?

*Don't Fear The Reaper:
A year or two ago, I was in a Death Pool and won about $20 on the demise of Anthony Quinn. It's a sick fascination, but also quite fun. I'd like to start a death pool. To any readers (all two of you) - let me know if you're interested. As the organizer, I've got dibs on Bill Rehnquist.

*Two In The Bush:
Ashlee Simpson should sue God for giving the choice DNA to her sister, Jessica (even though the Good Lord apparently neglected her intellectual faculties). Ashlee's on the cover of Cosmo this month. I'm no prize, but this is suppose to be a sex symbol? The girl looks like a bird.

And she'll never live down that SNL lip-sync deal.

*As Benjamin Orr Spins In His Grave:
Some Disney hussy named Katrina Carlson has taken it upon herself to cover the legendary Cars song "Drive". The only thing that should be covered is her head, preferably with a plastic grocery bag.

*...And Speaking Of Annoying Singers:
If there's one guy who has been making annoying, sappy music for decades and never seems to get any burn on it, just always gets away with it... its Peter Cetera. I guess he gets some kind of street cred for having been with Chicago, meaning he's probably dropped more acid than an epileptic chemist. But let's face it, this guy's whiny love songs have been infecting the ears of millions for far too long. Can we brainwash him into thinking he's a Halliburton employee and leave him unarmed and without a map in Basra?

It's bad enough we're going to be stuck with the young Josh Groban for the next fifty years, unless good fortune has him evolve into an E! True Hollywood Story of Corey Feldman caliber. But I just don't see it happening. Yes, the guy has a magnificent voice, but why can't these prodigies make some good music, instead of music you'll only think about as you wait in a hospital room for the news on your ailing mother's kidney transplant? You can take him, Maroon 5, Matchbox 20, John Mayer and all this other neo-Bryan Adams shiite and toss it in the ga-baaj.

But don't sweat Clay Aiken. Clay Aiken went up against a 350-pound Luther Vandross clone and held his own. On top of that, he looks like friggin' ARCHIE and while I wouldn't be caught half-dead, bound, gagged and naked listening to his "music", the guy has a fantastic voice. If you've got beef with Clay Aiken, you can s*** my d***. And when you're done, you can suck Clay's. Sorry, didn't mean to get all ghetto, y'all.

*Bon Voyage, Lenny Wilkens:
The winningest and losingest coach in NBA history, a damn fine point guard, one of only two men elected to the Hall of Fame as both player and coach (the other being the incomparable John Wooden) and one of the last gentlemen produced by the borough of Brooklyn (the other being my incomparable father) has resigned (yeah, right) as coach of my beloved New York Knicks.

A change had to be made, a head had to roll. Kudos to GM Isiah Thomas and Darth Jim Nolan for doing it with class - by not publically firing the guy. I anticipate a short ride for rookie head coach Herb Williams. However, for next season, God willing, IT won't take on any long-term contracts of aging players as has been the modus operandi of this franchise for a decade. Further, maybe we can get SOMEONE with a degree of basketball savvy, strategic acumen and motivational prowess to coach this team???

By the horns of the Minotaur, I'm 27... and I haven't seen one Knicks championship! Can we do it before 2010??? PLEASE?

Next time you're at a bar or party with a dearth of female patronage, refer to the joint as a "Wursthaus." And don't forget to credit Frederick Chocolate for that one.