10.01.2004

Master Debaters

Kerry is obviously the superior public speaker. He had a plan and he seemed to have followed it to the letter. It's almost painful to watch Bush at times. Small wonder most of Europe thinks we are politically inept. Then again, let us not forget that Europe is the continent that spawned Hitler, Tito, Franco, Mussolini, Milosevic, Ceausescu, etc., so pardon me for saying that most of Europe can be my guest and help itself to a piping-hot mug of fresh-brewed STFU.

I'd be a liar and a PBS donor if I didn't confess to breaking away from Lehrerpalooza for a few minutes of Yankees-Twins. Still, I was tuned in for most of the debate and to quote a famous matador: "The air was rife with bullshit." Bush's constant rah-rah slogans and his failure to fess up to the politically correct failure which is the Iraq semi-occupation, really begins to wear thin about 40 minutes in. He was visibly hot under the collar at some of the comments made by Kerry, but that's a non-issue. At least Bush bears a semblance of emotion, as opposed to Kerry's meticulously carved, "Nip/Tuck" ghoul visage. Bush made decent defenses of his actions, but his grunts and obvious moments of "Oh-shit-what's-the-word-I-want" are a massive chink in the armor of his 8 point lead. He better get it together before the next debate, for Al Gore this is not.

It was sickening to watch Kerry regurgitate the 9/11 Kangaroo Comission's outrageous lie that Saddam Hussein was totally uninvolved with Al Qaeda (Frank Gaffney, Laurie Mylroie and Stephen Hayes have info to the contrary). However, it was mildly refreshing to hear Flipper finally commit to discussing what some of his policy initiatives might be (spit) if he were to be elected (spit). Now that he has committed his opinions to record, can anyone doubt what a colossal failure he would be as a President? Really, what's he going to discuss bilaterally with Kim Jong Il? Hair care tips? Which cognacs they prefer? Don't get me wrong: there's alot to attack Bush on, but all Kerry told the nation last night was that he'd do a fantastic job chapping his lips on the ass of the Globe as our apologist-in-chief.

Regardless, it's all moot points in a moot court. Whether you agree or disagree with the Iraq War v.2.0, if you can't see it for what it is (preparation of a staging ground against Syria and North Korea, as well as a political and geographic wedge in the Militant Islamist hegemony firmly established by the Iranian Mullahs), don't even bother thinking about the election.

Just tune back to Oprah and enjoy the searing political analysis from the cast of "Charlie's Angels."