Random Scribblings

Basketball, Peter Cetera and Death. Where else but at this blog?

*Don't Fear The Reaper:
A year or two ago, I was in a Death Pool and won about $20 on the demise of Anthony Quinn. It's a sick fascination, but also quite fun. I'd like to start a death pool. To any readers (all two of you) - let me know if you're interested. As the organizer, I've got dibs on Bill Rehnquist.

*Two In The Bush:
Ashlee Simpson should sue God for giving the choice DNA to her sister, Jessica (even though the Good Lord apparently neglected her intellectual faculties). Ashlee's on the cover of Cosmo this month. I'm no prize, but this is suppose to be a sex symbol? The girl looks like a bird.

And she'll never live down that SNL lip-sync deal.

*As Benjamin Orr Spins In His Grave:
Some Disney hussy named Katrina Carlson has taken it upon herself to cover the legendary Cars song "Drive". The only thing that should be covered is her head, preferably with a plastic grocery bag.

*...And Speaking Of Annoying Singers:
If there's one guy who has been making annoying, sappy music for decades and never seems to get any burn on it, just always gets away with it... its Peter Cetera. I guess he gets some kind of street cred for having been with Chicago, meaning he's probably dropped more acid than an epileptic chemist. But let's face it, this guy's whiny love songs have been infecting the ears of millions for far too long. Can we brainwash him into thinking he's a Halliburton employee and leave him unarmed and without a map in Basra?

It's bad enough we're going to be stuck with the young Josh Groban for the next fifty years, unless good fortune has him evolve into an E! True Hollywood Story of Corey Feldman caliber. But I just don't see it happening. Yes, the guy has a magnificent voice, but why can't these prodigies make some good music, instead of music you'll only think about as you wait in a hospital room for the news on your ailing mother's kidney transplant? You can take him, Maroon 5, Matchbox 20, John Mayer and all this other neo-Bryan Adams shiite and toss it in the ga-baaj.

But don't sweat Clay Aiken. Clay Aiken went up against a 350-pound Luther Vandross clone and held his own. On top of that, he looks like friggin' ARCHIE and while I wouldn't be caught half-dead, bound, gagged and naked listening to his "music", the guy has a fantastic voice. If you've got beef with Clay Aiken, you can s*** my d***. And when you're done, you can suck Clay's. Sorry, didn't mean to get all ghetto, y'all.

*Bon Voyage, Lenny Wilkens:
The winningest and losingest coach in NBA history, a damn fine point guard, one of only two men elected to the Hall of Fame as both player and coach (the other being the incomparable John Wooden) and one of the last gentlemen produced by the borough of Brooklyn (the other being my incomparable father) has resigned (yeah, right) as coach of my beloved New York Knicks.

A change had to be made, a head had to roll. Kudos to GM Isiah Thomas and Darth Jim Nolan for doing it with class - by not publically firing the guy. I anticipate a short ride for rookie head coach Herb Williams. However, for next season, God willing, IT won't take on any long-term contracts of aging players as has been the modus operandi of this franchise for a decade. Further, maybe we can get SOMEONE with a degree of basketball savvy, strategic acumen and motivational prowess to coach this team???

By the horns of the Minotaur, I'm 27... and I haven't seen one Knicks championship! Can we do it before 2010??? PLEASE?

*Post-script:
Next time you're at a bar or party with a dearth of female patronage, refer to the joint as a "Wursthaus." And don't forget to credit Frederick Chocolate for that one.

Silence Of The Blogs

It's been a week since I last posted...cause I just don't have much to say. I am eager to watch the "Fawlty Towers" DVD collection I just rented. Waiting for snow, a Knicks trade and the horn signal of Captain Conrail. Other than that....fuggit!

Fire In The Hole

"War! What is it good for?" - Edwin Starr

Cool shit like this, apparently (from Drudge via The New Scientist):

The Pentagon considered developing a host of non-lethal chemical weapons that would disrupt discipline and morale among enemy troops, newly declassified documents reveal.

Most bizarre among the plans was one for the development of an "aphrodisiac" chemical weapon that would make enemy soldiers sexually irresistible to each other. Provoking widespread homosexual behaviour among troops would cause a "distasteful but completely non-lethal" blow to morale, the proposal says.

Other ideas included chemical weapons that attract swarms of enraged wasps or angry rats to troop positions, making them uninhabitable. Another was to develop a chemical that caused "severe and lasting halitosis", making it easy to identify guerrillas trying to blend in with civilians. There was also the idea of making troops' skin unbearably sensitive to sunlight.

The proposals, from the US Air Force Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, date from 1994. The lab sought Pentagon funding for research into what it called "harassing, annoying and 'bad guy'-identifying chemicals". The plans have been posted online by the Sunshine Project, an organisation that exposes research into chemical and biological weapons.

Spokesman Edward Hammond says it was not known if the proposed $7.5 million, six-year research plan was ever pursued.

Talk about rendering "don't ask, don't tell" utterly useless. Then again, the idea for the "gay bomb" was probably scrapped when the US Military Powers-That-Be realized that the North Koreans already sanction homosexual relationships between soldiers partnered up during their army training. But kudos to them for realizing what Kim Jong-Il already knows: the best weapon is demoralization.

Then again, maybe they scrapped the "gay bomb" cause the title was already patented by RuPaul...

Putting The UN In Underaged

Given Kofi and son's Cotecna-Iraq oil antics, one might conclude there's a malignant oversight problem at the UN. Go a step further and take into account the genocides in Rwanda, Sudan and this mess in the Congo and one finds very convincing evidence that Kofi doesn't give a shit about his fellow Africans. Courtesy Fox News' website:

UNITED NATIONS — U.N. peacekeepers in Congo (search) sexually abused and exploited women and girls, some as young as 13, according to a report released by a U.N. watchdog agency Friday.

Peacekeepers regularly had sex with Congolese women and girls, usually in exchange for food or small sums of money, an investigation by the Office of Internal Oversight Services (search) found.

"It was clear that the investigation did not act as a deterrent for some of the troops, perhaps because they had not been made aware of the severe penalties for engaging in such conduct, nor had they seen any evidence of a negative impact on individual peacekeepers for such behavior," it said.

The investigators said some military officers had tried to block their work: "On several occasions, the commanders of these contingents either failed to provide the requested information or assistance or actively interfered with the investigation."

The problems were "serious and ongoing" and it was "disturbing" that there was no deterrence or protection program, the report by the U.N. oversight agency said.

The team investigated 72 allegations against both military and civilian U.N. personnel, which resulted in 20 case reports. One case involved a U.N. civilian; the others, peacekeepers.

"In six cases, the allegations against the peacekeeper were fully substantiated, and underage girls were involved in all of them," the report said, adding that none of the peacekeepers admitted to the allegations.

In other cases the evidence was either convincing, but not fully substantiated or could not be corroborated, according to the report.

In one case, a 14 year-old girl was given $1 or $2 or two eggs in return for sex. She was able to identify the soldier because he had a broken arm. She had sex with another soldier in return for $3 and a packet of milk.

Another 14 year-old girl was given $2, chocolate and bread in return for sex. A 13-year-old girl said she and her friends would go to the camp to have sex with different soldiers for between $3 and $5 for each sexual encounter.

Shame on me. I should be talking about Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib.

When will we as a people DEMAND the EXPULSION of the UN from our land? When will we disengage ourselves from this unconstitutional, unelected Roman Senate that would have THE WORLD on its knees, sucking for money, bread and chocloate?

Being a New Yorker, it's a known fact that the Diplos don't even pay their parking tickets (numbering into the millions), yet many of you would trust them with the world.

My Little Redhead

The only fast food I will eat is Wendy's. I can't stand fast food, but Wendy's never leaves a bad taste in my mouth and is always fresh and filling. At least the two Wendy's I eat at.

Kudos to the company for allowing me to pass on the fries, in favor of the delicious chili with my hamburger combo. Many credit Dave Thomas' chili (secret recipe, of course) for the financial windfall which enabled him to open a chain of Wendy's. Mr Thomas, may he rest in peace, realized that he could use the excess Hamburger meat being discarded from the patties to make chili. The chili was a hit - and a boon to his bank account, as he was able to use excess food to create a new menu item without purchasing extra goods. It might not be a special blend of 11 herbs and spices, but it's still the foundation of the American dream - innovation.

Where most fast food will give you THE shits, Wendy's IS the shit.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

& God bless you and yours, as well as those less fortunate suffering unenviable pain in these tragic times...

...& click the links in the last post...

GIVE A MINUTE OF YOUR TIME!

GIVE A FEW DOLLARS OF YOUR EARNINGS!

GIVE A DAMN!

JUST GIVE!!!

XO

Tsunami Relief & Spurious George

Here's a link to Google's list of Tsunami Relief web sites. This is a tragedy of incalculable proportion. If you can give even 20 bucks, please do.

I'm someone who feels the United States goes above and beyond the call in terms of aid, medicine and food donations to other countries in need. 50% of world economic assistance comes from us alone. But how the hell can Bush mismanage Iraq to the tune of 90 billion dollars plus....and only scrounge up 30 million dollars for the tragedy in Southeast Asia? I'm happy to see that we are sending military support and an aircraft carrier to the region, but for the love of God, 100,000 people plus are dead and all we can manage is 30 million? In case you don't grasp the enormity of this tragedy, well, ever hear of the Maldive Islands?

Most of them no longer exist.

Most Sri Lankan fishermen are unaccounted for.

100 people were killed on the Somali coast...3,000 miles away.

Mr. President, why don't you pony up some of that tax money taken from the public for the weapons we didn't use on Baghdad and Fallujah (you know, the ones we apparently keep for show) and write out a bigger check for the people of Southeast Asia? I think that would be a financial allocation we could all agree on...

and the Christian thing to do.